Deakin Communicating Science 2016

EES 200/101

Til ‘Divorce’ Do Us Part… I DO!

0001-divorce-court-drama_litigCinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel… Just some of our beloved 1900’s fairy tale princesses that all appeared to have unknowingly stumbled upon the discovery of their striking Prince Charming, only to of course presume to ‘live happily ever after,’ Why didn’t we ever see what happened after the grand ceremonial wedding? 

It’s probably because by that time, divorce rates were on the rise and it there was a growing chance that their marriage was going to end unsuccessfully with an anticlimax ‘happily ever after.’ So, with the intention of suppressing the realistic, unappealing aspects involved in maintaining a healthy marriage, the producers of our treasured fairy tale stories undoubtedly kept the story short and sweet, ending the love story with the generic ‘horse and carriage,’ only to leave us misguidedly thinking that their marriage was a breeze with no rough edges.

Regrettably, we have all been deceived. According the the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the median duration of a registered marriage was statistically calculated to last on an average of 12.0 years, along with an accompanying statistic claiming that the rate of divorce doubles for couples that have been married for 20 years and over. Statistically, the median age for these divorces is 45.2 years for men and 42.5 years for women…

o-failed-marriage-facebookThis not to say that all sprouting westernised marriages are doomed to end in divorce, there is however a 50% chance that your marriage could be successful. In spite of this gamble, many have either resulted in holding off from marriages entirely, or rather decided to get married later, or worse… many have presumably been converted to a form of ‘marriage sceptics.’

Marriage sceptics have lead innocent, hopeless-romantic people such as ourselves to becoming over analytical, ‘business-deal’ individuals, that are more likely to pay lot more consideration and close attention to the finer details of a relationship and their partners characteristics, just to ensure the elimination of as many possible reasons/risks that could potentially lead to incompatibility and divorce in the near or distant future.

There are pros and cons to us marriage sceptics, in which maybe our over-analytical selves are reading too far into our relationship, resisting compromise and accepting that you do not belong with that person far too soon before any changes are made. Or, it may mean that many are playing closer attention to the incompatibilities of their partner earlier in the development of their relationship, and not living in the denial that you two work together.

So, as majority of you sit there reading this blog post, questioning your faith and confidence in your relationships and marriages, you may be wondering, what are the contemporary reasons that many of us do or potentially will face that are leading to the growing popularity in divorce?

Why did marriages seem more promising before the 1970’s? You may be pondering if there are any deficiencies in your relationship, or if you are just obliviously neglecting particular aspects of your relationships. Are you and your partner truly compatible? Stay tuned to find out!

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2 comments on “Til ‘Divorce’ Do Us Part… I DO!

  1. Myths and Reality by Andrea
    May 8, 2016

    Your post immediately caught my eye once I read the title. I was intrigued and wanted to read on. This is a fantastic post. I totally agree that many people are set up to fail when it comes to marriage. You always hear about happily ever after but never about what happens once the honey moon period is over. Personally I have experienced many couples around me break off marriages and it’s a sad reality. I’ve always been one to be sceptical about getting married. You should be with your partner for as long as possible before you decide to commit for what is meant to be until death do us part. The more time you spend together before marriage, the more likely your marriage is to survive. I hope that when people read this post that they realise the importance of knowing your partner well before you decide to enter into a life time agreement.

    Like

  2. isabelleplusscience
    May 10, 2016

    This was a very interesting post. I specifically liked the topic as it is not one commonly discussed. Happily ever after is popular in its nativity and lack of realistic thinking. It appears to me that what people are falling in love with is not their spouses but the idea of a future that has been conditioned into our minds as the only viable option. For women especially, the pressure to be married or with a partner by a certain age is immense. Where an unmarried male of older age is recognised as a bachelor; a word with positive connotations of wealth, charm and good looks, a women of the same age would be considered a spinster. This word instead of conveying a picture of desire instead portrays the unmarried woman as old, aesthetically unappealing and by all qualities undesirable. The issue I feel is not about the nativity of happy ever after, such nativity is arguably just a part of being human and where one marriage does not work, what is most important are the lessons that we are left with. My advice to anyone considering marriage would be to first know yourself, what you want and what you can live with. Naivety is not a mistake but lack of reflection and honesty with oneself is.

    Like

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This entry was posted on May 8, 2016 by in Burwood - Friday 2pm, Uncategorized.

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